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The Maryland Rapists

Kai and Madd were interrogated over the attempted rape of Ariel Sea Cow, as evidenced from a GG Granny’s FB chat. What started as a few innocent drinks in the lavender dungeon, turned into Madd and his fat wife trying to lure a very drunk Ariel into a threeway situation. Ariel managed to flee and call the police to report this horrific crime, the Wilcher-Hughes were held separately in different police cars and questioned one by one. This seems to be accurate judging by the report issued to Faslyns Bowie mansion (also judging by Kai’s track record, she would totally be keen to munch some snatch). The pl’s are always right! They had suggested that perhaps Madd and Kai had tried to cop a feel of Ariel’s whale physique. After this Kai and Madd conceived their demonic child in a very smelly and loud fuck session. Their cavernous bodies slapped together; in ecstasy with added excitement from getting caught.

Kai is having a girl! She is thuper essited you guith! She stuffed her gluttonous mouth on Valentines with Mama and Granny, whilst Madd porked his piece of ass on the side. She has been posting nonstop photos of baby clothes and junk food all over her Instagram.

Our favorite nappy headed ape Momo has been questioning her relationship with James, even after he bought her dead gas station roses and rotten chocolates from the dollar store. Now Moby Keef is busting his obese ass at a car parts place, she is pondering whether or not to get back with him. He claims to want her jumanji bush once more, and to plant some of his lardy seeds in her wizened birth canal. Who will Momo choose? That is a very good question, besides it must be very difficult when you have two suitors with such redeeming qualities! *coughs*

Momo looking drunker than ever with her yellow toothed fuck whale

 Momo's cheap velvet chocolate box, with a strategically placed copy of "What to Expect When you're expecting.

Momo posing with her rancid chocolates

Kai's Official Crotch Turd!

Kailyn is now officially 14 weeks pregnant! She has been parading in maternity wear on her Instagram and is claiming her obese belly is the baby. She has been stuffing her potato head with unhealthy drinks and snacks too because babby will apparently filter out all of the shit. Kailyn Mama has already bought girls clothes for the FAS crotch turd before even knowing the sex of the baby and Kai is thuper essited to find out what she is having! Aside from her being pregnant she has been keeping to the usual schedule of being lazy, eating copious amounts of junk, hoarding makeup and hardly seeing Madd. Kai saw her once a month husband over the Christmas period so he could give her shitty gifts of a Hello Kitty blanket and cup. She also posed for photos with Granny, Mama and Papa Wilcher like a true socialite!

Kai's massive keg belly in all its hideous glory.

Here she is holding her stomach as if all that fat is her baby bump.

Triplets!

Mama and Papa Wilcher. It is sad when you look older than your parents, Kai's incredible weight gain has aged her by 40 years.